Self esteem

I realize I have not posted in quite a while. I've not given up being grateful just haven't found time to blog about it.   There is something I've been thinking about I've been thinking about lately and wanted some input. As "J" is getting older and in that tween stage, one of the things I worry about is how to guide her through this stage and her teenage years while keeping her self esteem intact.   One thing you need to know about me is that I've never really cared about fashion or what looks right. My old roommate used to always ask my advice in what she should wear and it always drove me crazy. Lol. Now I find my own daughter doing it to me.  I usually tell her that I am not the fashion police!  The other day, she was having a fashion crisis and couldn't decide which shirt to wear with her pants and was making quite a big deal about it. I lost my patience and said "who are you trying to impress anyway?"  She said "Myself! And I'm not impressed!"  I laughed but then it occurred to me that this is what I want her mindset to be. Not dressing to impress someone, but dressing to impress herself. I realized by rolling my eyes and telling her I was not the fashion police that I was telling her that how she looked didn't matter.  I want her to feel good about the way she looks but I don't want her to think that looks are the only thing that makes her beautiful. I want to tell her all things about her that make her beautiful.  She is loyal, friendly, kind, generous, creative, polite, talented and much more. She has such a wonderful spirit and these are the things that make her beautiful. So those out there is internet land, how do you or did you instil in your daughters that sense of beauty in a world that puts so much stock in the outside appearance?   Or those of you who don't have daughters, how did your parents nurture your self esteem.  Thanks!