We are a family of six. Two parents and four kids. "J" is 12, She is super creative and artsy. "T" is 10 and our little jokester. He's always cracking us up. "I" is 8 and he is our wild man, full of energy and as smart as a whip, and little Sweet Pea is 6. She is our spirited one, a very independent girl.
Friday, May 16, 2014
Self esteem
I realize I have not posted in quite a while. I've not given up being grateful just haven't found time to blog about it. There is something I've been thinking about I've been thinking about lately and wanted some input. As "J" is getting older and in that tween stage, one of the things I worry about is how to guide her through this stage and her teenage years while keeping her self esteem intact. One thing you need to know about me is that I've never really cared about fashion or what looks right. My old roommate used to always ask my advice in what she should wear and it always drove me crazy. Lol. Now I find my own daughter doing it to me. I usually tell her that I am not the fashion police! The other day, she was having a fashion crisis and couldn't decide which shirt to wear with her pants and was making quite a big deal about it. I lost my patience and said "who are you trying to impress anyway?" She said "Myself! And I'm not impressed!" I laughed but then it occurred to me that this is what I want her mindset to be. Not dressing to impress someone, but dressing to impress herself. I realized by rolling my eyes and telling her I was not the fashion police that I was telling her that how she looked didn't matter. I want her to feel good about the way she looks but I don't want her to think that looks are the only thing that makes her beautiful. I want to tell her all things about her that make her beautiful. She is loyal, friendly, kind, generous, creative, polite, talented and much more. She has such a wonderful spirit and these are the things that make her beautiful. So those out there is internet land, how do you or did you instil in your daughters that sense of beauty in a world that puts so much stock in the outside appearance? Or those of you who don't have daughters, how did your parents nurture your self esteem. Thanks!
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Your darling daughter will have to filter many opinions and values about her self-worth. It is important for you to emphasize the true beauty (kindness, gentleness, etc.) that you see in her, but to not disregard her more superficial qualities like a pretty face, intelligence and a nice singing voice.
ReplyDeleteI know you encourage your children in everything. I can tell by how confident they are. So don't be afraid to tell her that she looks cute in a certain outfit. You might have fun together figuring out why certain colours and styles work together and how they work on her. Think of it as you would if she designed and decorated her room. I know this little chicky and she has great design sensibility. Maybe there is even a fashion career in her future.
Blessing hugs,
Teresa