Being still

"Be still and know that I am God"

 Psalm 46:1

It's been a long time since I have written on here. There are lots of reasons. The main reason is that I've been struggling with some health issues for the last couple of months. Ear troubles and mostly sinus issues causing headaches. I have had a headache everyday for the last 10 weeks at least.  It has gotten to the point where everyday tasks are a struggle. I have really been trying to keep on moving despite the pain. To keep life normal for the kids and for Jeff.  

Today at church, my head hurt so bad at times that I couldn't help the tears from coming.  At one point opening my eyes hurt more than keeping them closed. I was squirming in my seat, trying to find a comfortable place. Leaning on Jeff's supporting arm.  I found myself getting so angry.  Getting bitter.   And then for some reason I lifted my head, opened my eyes and looked up at the screen above the stage. 

There written was Psalm 46:10:

[10] "Be still, and know that I am God! I will be honored by every nation. I will be honored throughout the world."

For the last six months I have really been striving in abiding in Jesus.  I have had so much emotional healing, He has shown me so much about myself and I have grown so much.   I have seen too much to not know how GOOD Jesus is.  So looking up in the midst of my anger and bitterness and seeing that was like God speaking directly to me. Saying "Take it easy Tash. I am the one who made you. Be still Tash. I am here. I will be honored". 

And so in the midst of my struggles I will honor Him. I will always be thankful of his goodness. And I will continue to abide in Him. To wait on him. 

Thankful for my Jeff who has taken on way more than his fair share. For the kids who are so sweet and helpful. Who offer to pray for me all the time. For my sweet friends who always ask how I am doing.  See Jesus is so good to me. He is faithful even when I am not.